In episode 88 of The Kitchen Table, Ken Baden interviews Kyle Carnohan, the founder of Super Human Fathers, as he discusses the importance of physical fitness, emotional connection, and the impact of being a strong role model for children.
Tune in for an engaging discussion about the power of networking and building connections in the business world.
TIMESTAMPS
[00:02:45] Superhuman Fathers concept origin.
[00:05:39] Superhuman father qualities.
[00:10:34] Men expressing emotions authentically.
[00:12:58] Connection with your wife.
[00:16:18] Authenticity in leadership.
[00:22:53] Authenticity in coaching relationships.
[00:25:39] Accountability and purpose in life.
[00:27:20] Inner savage and personal growth.
QUOTES
SOCIAL MEDIA LINKS
Ken Baden
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/officialkenbaden/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/officialkenbaden
Kyle Carnohan
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kyle-carnohan-7011bb235/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/superhumanfathers/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/superhumanfathers/
WEBSITES:
The Kitchen Table Podcast: https://thekitchentablepodcast.net/
Blue Collar Ballers Union: https://bluecollarballersunion.com/
Super Human Fathers: https://superhumanfathers.com/
Welcome to the kitchen table, a podcast about where business is done. So pull up a chair and join your host, Ken Baden.
What's up everybody. And welcome back to another episode of the kitchen table podcast. I'm Ken Baden and we've got my man Kyle here today from my good friend, Sean. Thank you, Sean. You were the man. You always send me the most awesome people. Kyle from superhuman fathers. Kyle, what's up brother. How are you today, man?
Ken Baden
Good man. Um, yeah, I'm glad Sean hooked it up, man, whatever. I mean, I know if it's coming from him, we're going to roll.
Kyle Carnohan
Right. Exactly. And that's actually, we were just talking about that because we've been blessed really, man, we've been blessed on the show where like, we've kind of hit that point where, and mind you, I don't, I don't make anything right. I do this because I genuinely like doing, I love the networking. I love, you know, providing a value for, uh, folks in my niche and, uh, but the networking is second to none. You can't, you just, the people you get to meet, the people we've gotten marketing set up from this, like free marketing, we've gotten, you know, board members, we've gotten, you know, people that we've done business with, people that have done business with us. It's just, it's beautiful, man. And Sean is somebody who's connected me with some really awesome, powerful people. In fact, our most recent, uh, I would say like to me, my most exciting, you know, cause you get people on, uh, Kyle, like yourself, right where I'm like, all right, I know I can kind of be myself, be me and just be real. We connect me with, um, Scott Hogle, the, uh, author of, uh, persuade and also I heart radio. Like I think he's the president and, uh, just a freaking superstar, man. And I was like, not myself. I was like, Oh, I don't know. I think I might've been intimidated or just like, really, like I was so pumped to get to interview the guy. So Sean is the man. And, uh, I don't know. I just, I love Sean dearly, man. He's always like, I got somebody for your podcast, man. Like, and he just randomly pops up like every few months, he's got somebody for the podcast. I'm like, dude, you're the man. So I owe to him, Sean, again, a very special thank you for bringing us Kyle. Kyle, you got to one of the coolest concepts. I was excited to do this. I know we had to reschedule a couple of times, but Superhuman Fathers, like that's one I haven't heard. I've heard a lot. I've seen a lot, the different masterminds, the groups, the coaching groups. Tell us first and foremost, like, I mean, I think the name probably gives us a little bit insight. Tell us a lot and tell us what is first and foremost Superhuman Fathers. What are you guys all about?
Ken Baden
Yeah, the name bro, like I was, I, I was a fireman for 15 years, and I got off on one of my days off. I think I just got forced for a third day. So I was off on my fourth day, and I got five kids. And this was like three years ago. And usually I'd get home, and we would work out with the boys, and then we would go skateboarding. And it was like Christmas for me, man. Play my guitar a little bit, go skate with the boys. And we had just lifted weights. and I sit down to put my skate shoes on and I just had this premonition. It was really weird. It was like the word superhuman fathers went in my mind and I had been thinking over the last prior days before that how I was kind of an asshole and that I had this trigger to like yell at my kids and be a little critical to my wife. And I was wrestling with this truth that was hitting me because I was a good man. Like, I served people. I was a fireman. I was disciplined. But I knew there was something else. And the superhuman fathers came to my mind. So it just this idea said, make an Instagram account. I didn't even know how to post on Instagram. So I go in and I just was like, create account. And I put superhuman fathers. My kids are like, dad, are we going to go? I'm like, yeah, hold on a second. and I start this account. And I thought, well, what now? And I just heard this, not with my ears, but you know, that premonition. I heard this speak. I pushed the live button and I just said, Hey, I don't know what this is. I don't know what this is going to turn into, but, um, I can be an asshole sometimes, and I'm going to try to be better. Stop. Send. That was literally the first thing I ever did with superhuman fathers. In the meantime, at the firehouse, I'm training guys in fitness. I have my own app. 10 years for free. Getting guys jacked. Yeah. right? So I've got these two different things I got going on. I've got the superhuman father's thing. Now I'm posting every day, reporting how I'm doing with my anger and my attitude towards my wife and kids. And I'm training guys in the firehouse. And at some point, those two things came together and I put the, the, the transformations out to the world. And, um, father started coming in droves. So it's this mix between discipline, fitness, savagery, and this like softness of being a kind and patient loving father that creates a safe environment for his kids and his wife. And those two concepts to have both at a high level is what a superhuman father is.
That's awesome, man. So it It is in the name and that it's obviously for fathers to be the very best they can possibly be. But I love that you implement fitness and, but that's all part of it, man. Like just like in business, you know, we talk about the discipline that it takes to, you know, get to a certain, uh, physical, uh, status, like applying that, you know, you see these guys that really take great shape or that care great. take great pride in their, uh, some of them are like former bodybuilders and then they go into business and they have like this seemingly overnight success. It's like, well, these guys are discipline machines, man. You know what I mean? And so I could totally see the parallels where like fitness, cause some might be like, well, what the hell does fitness have to do with being a good father? It's like, well, you're, you're first thing you're, you're setting a great example for your family and how to take care of yourself. Right. especially your kids, but also like being a physical strong force to be able to protect your family. And frankly, just taking care of your health, you feel better, you look better, you know, literally the endorphins, all that, the dopamine, like you physically feel better, you feel more confident. Like there's just, I don't see a downside, frankly. So I would actually argue like, how is it not, you know, being a better father taking, what it isn't is, getting overweight, feeding your family crap, right? Like setting the example of like being overweight and just not taking care of yourself for your kids and your family. And I would imagine too, if you're doing that, investing in yourself, that that gets passed on to the family, I guess, is that encouraged in them?
Yeah, so the whole idea is this, like I have sons, my sons will look for leaders. They will look for leaders who they want to be like. If I don't resemble what they want, they won't follow me. My voice has less power. As many holes as I can plug. in the physical realm, if I can build a physical monster that they're like, I want that. I want to look like a superhero like my dad. If I can make money, they say, that's successful. I want that. And so they listen to what I say. So the idea is to build yourself in all aspects so that when they think of who they need to ask questions to, who's the wise man in my world that has the results that I want, they turn to their father. Secondly, if a man lacks confidence, he will lie. And when he lies, he puts on a mask. And when he puts on a mask, he cannot feel. And when he cannot feel, he disconnects with people. We've been taught as men that speaking truth about how we feel is weak. This is a lie. It'll disconnect you from your wife, your children, and all of your relationships will be fake. When a man looks in the mirror and sees a savage looking back at him, proving to him that he is a dangerous fucking man, he can open up his heart. He can now show this soft side because he knows he's not fucking soft. But when he is soft, it's very difficult for that man to show his soft side.
Does that make sense? Totally makes sense, man. I mean, it's something that I struggle with all that stuff myself, man. I think most, you know, testosterone functioning males do, you know, but I could totally see the value. You know, sometimes it's frustrating. I'm in my first year of marriage and it's like, man, I don't want, you know, it's like, I'm pretty even keel most of the time, but it's like when I, when I flip, then I flip and it's like, why can't I like express anything any other way other than just like, losing my shit, you know what I mean? Like anger, everything is like, I'm scared, anger. I'm frustrated, anger. I'm stressed, anger. You know what I mean? And it's just like, my wife's like, dude, like, and she just doesn't get it, but she's gotten me enough now to where I'm like, she's like, why do you react that way? I'm like, I'm afraid for my dog, my this, my that. And for me, the fact that I can't control that or do anything about it, it's just, it manifests in anger. I don't know, you know?
It's our only safe emotion as a dad, hopefully, to be angry. It's our only safe emotion. When in reality, you're a badass motherfucker, cry. It's fucking great. It actually feels good. And when your wife sees real emotion from you, she bonds with you. She trusts you. She feels safe. So this warrior monk where you have the warrior and you have the monk side and you're fearlessly going into that. In reality us not going into our feelings is us being weak scared pussies. And so we flip the story on it and we say listen man if you don't cry you're a bitch. If you don't pray with your wife You're just scared. If you don't share your emotions, it's because you're being a tiny, scared little boy. Be a fucking man and just be real, authentic. Whatever you're feeling, share that shit with your wife. I just got off the phone with a wife who's on the verge of divorce. She's like, I've had sex with my husband for the last 20 years, but I've never felt safe and I'm fucking done with it. He treats me like shit during the day and then wants to fuck at night. She's like, I'm done. And he's gotten to the point where he won't show any other emotion except for anger because he's terrified of what people think of him. And so he's putting on this show, this mask, and there's a shit in his past that he hasn't looked at and like faced and felt. And so I'm like, please, God, if you could just get him on a call with me, please, like literally 45 minutes, it's all I need. just to show up, because all it is is a story. And it's just this concept that's got us trapped in this box. But if I don't give a fuck what people think, then I can show whatever emotions that I want.
And that's so how it seems like this. I mean, that's such a cool concept, man. It's refreshing really to hear that. But how many guys do you have now joining up and being a part of this?
We've gone through about 1100.
That's badass, dude. That's amazing. That's amazing. I hope. And if you're listening to this, I think a big part of our demographics is male. Uh, I, you know, for me right now, my first year of marriage, trying to build a family. I mean, I would wager there's even things that, you know, you could be 10 years in 20 years into a family or just wanting to build a better version of yourself for your future family. Um, you know, I just think that's so powerful, dude. Cause why else do we do the shit that we do? You know what I mean?
Everything, everything we do is for that woman in reality. And then we're the greatest stumbling block to connection with her. So we do all this shit and then we bring it home. We bring home the meat and we say, look what we, look what I did. And she rolls her eyes at you and you say, what the fuck? I just did all this. Do you, do you know how much I do? She's like, that's not what I want. I want to see you. I want to see, I want your heart and I want you to see me. You don't see me." And so, there's systems you can put in place as a man to actually create connection with your wife. Actions, reactions and habits just like going to the gym or in business to develop this incredible connection with your wife. And what you don't want, you don't want resentment building up over time because they accept it for years and years and years and years and years until finally they're like, I'm fucking done. And that's when the wife just disappears. And you're like, what, what happened? Like, I'm just doing my thing. I'm a good man. I make money. I take care of the family. What, what happened? She never felt you. She's been alone for decades. And that makes me appear crazy.
How long have you been, I was going to say something, but I'm not, I was dangerous grounds, crazy women, this and that. I'm like, nah, I'm not going to say anything. How long have you and the wife been married? 22 years. Wow. 22 years, man. The divorce rate. I was just thinking like what you're doing again to like in a world where like, it seems like like marriage is almost being like, not encouraged, family dynamic, not encouraged, the nuclear family, the nuclear, all the things we grew up on, it's just like, ah, you know, it's almost scary. It's not almost, it is scary how that's being like pushed away, the divorce rate skyrocketing. Would you attribute a lot of that to, how much of that would you attribute to men just not tabbing into this? All of it.
Yeah. Every single one is a similar story. And now I'm not taking any blame off the women either. They have their own fucking problems, which is why when I do marriage shit, it's with my wife. Because if I'm just working with the guy, there's only so much I can do. She has to see and understand him also, because none of us are gonna be perfect. I still fuck up all the time. I still drift back into my old ways. And she understands me and understands the mind of a man and how it works. So she can be forgiving to a certain extent, as long as I am putting forth this effort. You know, like, dude, we still fight. We still get irritated at each other. It's still not easy. And I think sometimes, like, I don't know, just like in coaching in general, it's real easy for the coach to, like, put on this face like their life's fucking perfect. You know?
Yes, I do know. And I was just going to say, I'm really glad you said that, man, because that shit gets old, man. You just said it. Authentic. I think it's cool to attract people in, but eventually it's like you set this impossible standard and it's like, it's more refreshing for folks. I'm in sobriety, right? And my, my sponsor in sobriety, he's got 30 some odd years and I've got seven years myself. And he reminds me of, I don't know, they say you never put a man on a pedestal or anybody on a pedestal for that matter. But like, Can't help, but kind of like this dude is just like, he's always going on retreats. He's always doing all this stuff and he's busy. He's got a family. It seems like he's just got the perfect life, but he's always like, dude, no. Like, first of all, no, you know what I mean? Like I struggle with this. I struggle with this. We go through this. I don't get this. Right. It just, it helps so much, um, more, especially because again, going back into what we were just talking about, we might not communicate that to you or to him. And it's just like, you're just, it ends up being just this thing where you're measuring yourself to this impossible standard. That's just bullshit. And it's not even real.
Yeah. That's why it's important as a leader of a movement to humiliate yourself on a regular basis. Whenever I can find something, a moment that I'd be embarrassed to share either my actions or something that happened, I have to share that with the group to keep an honest container within my men. and they judge me, I can see it in their faces, we all judge each other, it's okay. But on the other side of that feeling of judgment is an opening of a discussion and then trust. The only thing that matters is trust amongst men. When you have a group of men, if they can be honest, truly honest with everything, no matter how fucked up it is, and that honesty is accepted, realizing that we're all fucked up. I've never met a man that wasn't fucked up. I've worked with all men on all levels, all income levels, every religious background, all of them, all are fucked up, including myself. And when you just accept that as reality, now we don't have to hide anymore, we can just be like, not this is what happened 10 years ago, this is what happened yesterday. Like that's powerful. When we start sharing what happened yesterday, now we can like really, really connect and open people up. But I'm not going to lie. Sometimes I'm on these calls and I'm sharing some shit. My fucking hands are shaking and my stomach's in my throat and I'm like, fuck, they're all going to leave me.
It's probably not happened, has it?
No, they just get tighter.
Hmm. That's, uh, That's, uh, brave as shit, man. Cause I'm thinking about some of the things I'm like, eh, I don't know if I'd want to, you know what I mean? Totally terrifying.
That's awesome. It's the scariest thing in the world. Being utterly honest is the most terrifying thing to do.
Why do you think so many of these influencers and coach types? I mean, I guess it's probably obvious, but they're just full of shit. They just, they just don't show anybody. Do you think it's, the obvious where it's just like, Oh, well, they, they show what's attractive, but it's like, they're doing themselves a disservice in a way, not doing what you're doing, which is like, well, yeah, but you're not, it's not sustainable.
Yeah. Because on the front end, it's going to cost you money because there are people that won't buy from you because you're not perfect. But over the longterm, you're going to build a foundation and a following of people that truly trust your message and what you're doing. So. That's the hard part, especially when like money's tight. And I mean, I've had these times where like, there's a lot of revenue coming in, but I got a lot of payouts and I got to make payroll and fuck. I got to tell the guys that I coach business to my fuck up in business and tell them that I'm struggling to make payroll right now. They're paying me to teach them. Fuck.
That's impressive, man. I mean, and you tell them that like that's fucking impressive, really. Cause you're right. That is a tough one, but I'm so glad you said that because that brings me to, you know, and I'm not going to say any names or anything, man, but I've paid for a lot of coaching. And, uh, and a lot of times we see it or we already know it. Like once you get in and you're like, wait a second, this, this math ain't math. And you know what I mean? Or what you're saying doesn't jive with what I'm seeing, you know, and Or you're like, wait a second, you're teaching me business or you're supposed to be coaching me in business, but like what business have you ran outside of or whatever. Right. Like, so we make those connections inevitably anyhow, when you get a bunch of entrepreneurs in the room. So it's like, you almost have to address that.
And a lot of it is like, especially in coaching and groups, like the group is the power. So like, I don't have to carry all the burden of all the wisdom and information, right? So I can come in and say, listen, I've never done this before or when I did it, it actually didn't work. So, but it came from this book and this is a trusted source. And I also know Jeff has used this and it has worked. So Jeff, why don't you tell us about your experience after I've run through this framework and then maybe I can see where I've fucked this up. so that it wouldn't work. It creates this environment of trust. I have a lot of strengths, Like one of my strengths is like, I'm really good at getting guys fucking ripped. I know what I'm doing. I also have an incredibly connected marriage after 22 years. I've never met anyone who has a marriage like mine with five kids and the stress that we're under. So I can say things that I'm really good at, but I also have to share the things that aren't my strong suit. So if someone's asking me about business, like I'm a three and a half year entrepreneur. The fuck do I know? But what happens? We end up having a conversation, and as a coach, I'm a really skilled coach, I can help them see things that they can't see, but the answer has to come from them through my questioning. And then if I have an idea, I have to preface that with this idea that I've never done before. And if I just keep in that place, now I can serve people where I'm at, knowing that 10 years from now, I'm going to have very different conversations and the ability to consult at a higher level will make me more valuable at that time. But I have to sit at the value at which I give the world in an authentic place. And then I can be good with myself and good with my clients.
Dude, that's super powerful stuff, man. I mean, especially like three years in, I mean, you're right. That's, that's awesome though, that you have such a time. I mean, that's, that would make me be appealing to me to have a group or somebody just being real, but you're right. Like that is in a mastermind concept. Like the group is the power, the network. Like when I'm, you know, I still belong to two and I don't, we were just talking about like, I dude, I don't really fly out. And that's, what's got me like, eh, I don't know. You know why? Because the networking, the group, you know, like that's the real, the real power. And I think a lot of guys fail to realize that. And so kudos to you for like really tapping into that. You know what I mean? Where do you see this movement taking shape in the next year?
I see it going really, really far on like bringing people in in two different ways. One, the fitness continuously. I've actually lowered my barrier to entry on the fitness side because I see it as the place for people to come and find discipline and then also feel the power of the group but then the next level is relationships. So I'll have front-end relationship marketing as well where people can come in right into my relationship groups but I need to do both because the fitness side is a really good place for guys to start. We've kind of lost themselves because that's the thing that goes, you know, a guy turns 40 something. He's had a couple of kids, got kind of complacent in his career. He's making enough money. He's like, and he's disconnected from his wife. And it's like, fuck, dude, I lost my fire. I can't get myself out of bed. I can't get myself to go. And what they're missing is they're missing this feeling of being in a fucking foxhole with their tribe and they're being bombed. They have to attack the enemy. Like they need this feeling of war together with their brothers where they're fighting against the evil inside them. And without that, our culture is super lonely. Like men go just by themselves. They don't know their neighbors. They have minimal friends and the friends they do are kind of like fake. And so they sit here utterly alone, wondering why they can't get out of bed in the morning when the alarm goes off. And it's like, you have zero accountability and you have zero purpose.
Wow. Yeah. And it's, you're right, man. It really does. You know, I was talking to a friend of mine and we're right up against it, but I won't take too much time. But just the differences in cultures, he's from Jamaica and he's like, I can't believe that I don't know all of my neighbors. You know, we're all strangers here. And so I, I could totally see the value in like, I know so many folks and I refuse to be one of them, but I could even benefit. But just like you look at, I think it's almost more normal to like look out among the masses and see like, and my wife talks about this. So like anytime you see one part of that relationship go and like get fit, It's like, see ya. You know what I mean? Like they're on their way out. Cause they're not doing it at the same time. They're both disconnected. And so like, I could just see so much value in making sure both are doing these things. Both are, and like really just reigniting that flame, man. This is awesome stuff, dude. I'm actually really, I'm really stoked to have had you on. And I hope if you're listening to this, you know, I'm getting ready to, I'm going into my forties, you know, this is the last year or two of my thirties, man. So like, I'm, I'm trying my hell to build the best framework I can right now, build a family. But like, if this sounds like you, where can, where can guys find you at Kyle?
Yeah. Um, Instagram is the best place to get to know me a little bit. You can DM me. I'm all over that shit. Uh, and then superhumanfathers.com is, uh, one of our pages you can go to superhumanfathers.com and then, uh, what's your, uh, Instagram at superhuman fathers.
Okay. As Superhuman Fathers. Awesome. DM him. If you're listening to this and you want to tap into that, that, uh, what did you say? Not chaos. Something even better. Savage, man. That inner savage. I mean, it doesn't have to start at like bodybuilding, dude. Just like get up and get out and get after it and be around like-minded folks. I think Kyle's got a great thing going on, man. Kyle, thank you so much. for coming on and rocking out with this man. I'm looking forward to getting to know you better, man. I'm actually really, really pumped about this. And I think this is an awesome thing. I think we need to see more of this in society. So thank you, brother. Check him out. If you guys haven't gotten started on building the best you, now's a perfect time to start. Thank you again, Kyle.
Thanks so much for tuning into this episode. We sure do appreciate it. If you haven't done so already, make sure you're subscribed to the show, wherever you consume podcasts. This way you'll get updates as new episodes become available. And if you feel so inclined, please leave us a review. It is how new people find the show. Until next time, remember, there's always a seat at the table for business.